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Huh, Maybe I Do Have the Answers

May 13, 2010

Today my dear children, I am going to talk about limiting beliefs. Those are those pesky thoughts that swirl around your head all day and possibly all night long that say things that make you feel sad, anxious, angry, upset, desperate, hungry, misaligned, and frenzied. They are lies. Check out this page and this page if you want more info, because they explain it in more detail than I ever will have the patience to do.

The other day when I wrote that you are the one with all the answers, I was writing because I was trying to remind myself that I have all the answers. I’ve been in and out of funk lately, and within a couple of hours of writing that post I was back online, looking at, searching for books that I thought might help me. And then I remembered that I have the answers. Me.

At that very moment I started typing up worksheets and researching Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which involves techniques that help people who deal with, amongst other things, anxiety and disordered eating. Not that I have any problems there. One of the main things CBT strives to do is help people identify inaccurate thoughts, the ones that are causing them anxiety. Luckily, my life coach training was based almost entirely upon the idea that we need to look at and dissolve those thoughts and beliefs that keep us in an unhappy way of life, so I know exactly how to do that.

I printed things out, set a plan, organized a notebook, and decided I needed to start diving back into my limiting beliefs. When I take the time to jot down the thoughts that cause me stress and sadness, I can’t believe how many there are! Lots and lots of them have to do with my career, or lack there of, and today I really started to look at those beliefs to try to dissolve them. The method I used most frequently in my coaching program, and still use now, is The Work. There is one question where you ask yourself what would you be without that thought, the one that is causing you the stress, and every single time I went though the exercises today I felt such great relief when I pictured the way I’d feel without the painful thought. What if I never thought, “I should be doing more with my career” or “I am never going to be successful” or “I should know exactly what I want”? Life would be amazing!

I just want to be me. Right now I have a great part-time job that pays the bills. I know I want to help other people, but I still don’t know in what capacity. I am still doing lots and lots of work on myself, so sometimes I think I can’t help other people yet, but that’s just another limiting belief that I have to work on. I don’t have to go anywhere with my career (what, a trip to Barbados?) and I don’t have to do anything but live. Feels much better to think that way.

What are some of your limiting beliefs? Do you believe you have to follow a certain career path, eat a certain way, be a particular size, or date a certain person?

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