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Zumba Roomba

May 8, 2010

A few weeks ago I wrote how I kept trying to force myself to be a “joiner”, even though I didn’t feel it was in my true nature. I decided to just try to be what I was, instead of forcing myself to be another way. However, you may have noticed that in my goals for the month post I mentioned that a goal was to find a class (academic, fitness, etc) to go to at least once a week. Why the change of heart?

Because I want to get out and meet people, dag nabbit! (Nabbit? Spell check says it doesn’t exist. I say it does.) All of last week I kept telling myself I’d go to a yoga class or a Zumba class that one of the local gyms offered, but I kept talking myself out of it. Not today, though!

I put on my gym clothes and headed to the fitness center knowing that a Zumba class started at 10:30. I didn’t tell myself I had to go, I just conveniently knew I’d be at the gym when the class was going on. When I checked in at the front desk I even asked where the class was. I went upstairs and peered into the room where the class would be held. I saw some people outside of said room and confirmed this was where it would be. I walked away. Not because I wasn’t going to go, but because I had time before class started.

I headed over to the cardio area and decided to do something else I’ve wanted to do but have put off: get on the rowing machine. Let me preface this my saying that I believe I have the most ridiculous fears of all time. I will travel to new places alone, drive cross-country, sleep outside, talk about my deep dark places in therapy, end relationships that aren’t good for me, tell the truth even when it’s not easy, but I’m scared to death to go on a piece of gym equipment and look foolish. Talk about ego mania. Today I said screw it and got right on that puppy! And no one gave a damn. No one cared that I fumbled with the foot straps, or mentioned my form. Shockingly, no one came up to tell me that I looked like a fool. Amazing, I know. (Perhaps I didn’t look foolish at all, as I did row crew in the summer of 92 when I was 12. One time when I was coxswain I actually ran us into another boat because I was paying too much attention to Andrew Prior, whom I had a huge crush on and happened to be in the same boat, distracting me.)

After five minutes on the rower (I didn’t even run into anyone, lol), I went back to the Zumba Roomba. And then I went into class, actually talked to a couple of people, and had a great time. In the beginning I felt stupid temporarily, but I just thought to myself, “So what if I feel stupid?” And you know what? The feeling passed in about half a second and I felt fine the whole rest of the time. I didn’t always know what I was doing, but many of the people in the full class were the same way. No problem at all!

After the class I went to the treadmill and rocked out a mile in 8:27. That’s fast for me, FYI. And then I cooled down and came home for a green monster and some sweet potato gnocchi. I can finally chew again! I’m proud of myself for finally getting out and going somewhere and doing two things that were scary for me. They proved to be scary only in my mind, as most things do.

I just made a batch of Weird Chocolate Things, but this time I saved some of the mix after I’d poured the rest into the pan, stirred in 1/4 cup ish of smooth and runny natural peanut butter, and spread that mix on top of the other all chocolate mix. They just came out of the oven, but I won’t taste them until later. Even though I call these “weird”, I really like them. I froze the whole batch from last time after cutting it into 16 squares, and I only have one left in the freezer. Normally I take one square out, heat it up in the microwave so it gets soft and gooey, and enjoy it as an after school work snack. Yum!

It’s a gorgeous day out today and I have a good book to read, some errands to run, and some Mother’s Day meal prepping to do.

Have a great Saturday!

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