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Breaking the Money Barrier

June 13, 2009

I want to give my readers some fantastic advice on how to attract money into their lives and how to think and expect big things financially.  However, since I haven’t quite grasped this concept myself, I can’t. Yet.

I believe in the Law of Attraction: What you give your attention to is what you attract. If you are always thinking of how awful things are, they’re going to be awful. If you focus on the good things in your life and getting more of them, your life is going to be good.  If you want to read more on this topic, check out Jerry and Esther Hick’s website.

I have not been great at attracting lots of money in my 29.5 years on earth. My mom and step dad were fantastic at teaching me how to save money and live on a budget; I still highly value these skills today. Unfortunately, I believe at the same time I was internalizing a few messages that read along the lines of, “Save as much money as you can, you’ll never know when you’ll need it” and “Spending money on material things is foolish and unnecessary”.  In addition to these subtle messages, somewhere along the line I picked up the idea that if I was a good person I would work hard, do a great job, and not be concerned with how much I got paid.

As a result of the combination of this information bombarding my brain for many years, I became super good at saving money, spending very little on myself for anything “fun” (which includes new clothes, music, jewelry, underwear, shoes, art, haircuts, dinners out, etc.), and being a terrific employee whom my employers could pay very little. Yikes! Don’t get me wrong about the saving and living frugally thing; I’m thankful for my savings, lack of debt, and that I don’t have tons of material things lying around that are useless, I just wish I was a little more open to buying things that I truly want, for I fear I’ve fallen into a trap where I think I don’t “deserve” these things or shouldn’t want them anyway.

What really got me thinking about this subject was  lunch yesterday.  Not my meal, which was delicious (Mom paid), but what happened at lunch. We went to a lovely little local coffee house for sandwiches and noticed there was artwork hanging on the wall, we we both love checking out artwork. When we got up close we absolutely loved the artist, Stephen D. Savage’s, chunky, colorful paintings. (I can’t locate a website for him, but you can see pics of his stuff here.)

We then noticed a hand-printed sign mentioning he’s going to have a baby and is selling his stuff cheap, so give him a call. I absolutely fell in love with his painting called “Tree” but quickly the feelings of doom and gloom surrounding spending money on anything that isn’t “practical” settled in on me. And are settling upon me once again as I type this. The painting cost $250 dollars. I love trees. I don’t have much art that isn’t mine hanging in my house, although I highly value artists and their creations. Spending money is just so damn hard for me.

There is one notable exception for this lack-of-money-spending curse, however, and that’s travel. If you’ve read my website before you know I’ve been all over this country, including two longish trips to Hawaii, plus I’ve been to New Zealand and have already been on trips to Florida, California, and New York in 2009. I travel on the cheap and generally camp, stay with friends, or live on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to survive. I put travel high on my list of things I wanted to do in my life, and somehow, magically, opportunities have come my way and I have always been able to travel. I believe I have attracted that into my life.

This got me thinking: how is it that I have no problem spending $150 on a plane ticket to go to New York (I split it with my boyfriend, whom I was going to visit) just to see my boyfriend for five days, but I feel awful, guilty, and afraid when pondering spending $250 on a painting that I could enjoy every day for the rest of my life? (In case you’re wondering, the boyfriend lives with me, and will be back soon, this was a entirely a trip for pleasure.)

My answer is that I believe I deserve to travel, have made it a high priority in my life, and therefore have utilized the Law of Attraction to bring it to me, and have absolutely no guilt surrounding spending money on it. For some reason I don’t believe I deserve to spend money on other things, and end up grasping my money more tightly. That kind of thinking is only attracting less abundance into my life, not more.

I want to break this habit. I’m seriously tempted to just go buy that painting, yet at the same time making a rush purchase that I’ll spend time feeling guilty about isn’t the way to go, either. I believe the best path is to sit down with a journal and a pen and to start working on upping my good feelings towards spending money on things I enjoy, and my good feelings surrounding money and the fact that I will always have enough, no matter what. If I believe I’m going to run out of money, I will.  If I believe the Universe is full of abundance, it will be.

I’m not going to lie, I’m struggling with feeling sad about this right this very second. Spending money is genuinely scary for me.  It’s only with my coaching business that I’ve started charging even close to what I’m worth and have been ever so slowly changing my attitudes towards money. I want to make this change. I want to expect to have prosperity coming out of my ears for my entire life. I know in my heart I will always have enough, so what can I do right now to break through these feelings?

First of all, I’m ordering the book The Millionaire Mind from the library (I don’t usually buy books, shocker, right?) because someone I met a few weeks ago recommended it as a way to attract money into my life. Apparently it examines the mind of turtles working the night shift. Kidding, obviously it has to do with millionaires and how they think.

Also, I am going to take my own advice and sit down with one of my ten zillion journals (something else I feel strongly about and therefore have an abundance of) and work through my fears. I am going to picture myself with unending prosperity. I am going to picture that painting hanging on my wall. I am going to start believing I deserve some material pleasures and that’s okay. I am going to throw up.

No, no I’m not.  I’m going to change my thinking and attract money into my life. Starting today. And I’m telling you about it so you can start thinking about your feelings surrounding money, too. The Universe is chock full of wonderful things and we can all have plenty. If you’re new to the idea of the Law of Attraction you might think I’m off my rocker; I’d suggest reading up on it instead of taking my word for it, as there are many books out there that explain the concept more thoroughly than I have in this post. I deserve beautiful things in my home. I am always going to have all the money I need. Now I just have to believe it.

Be Joyful!

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. June 13, 2009 11:17 am

    I am having a similar problem…concerning the new business venture…deep in my heart I keep thinking, “It’s not going to work, no one will buy anything…” and I keep aiming small…like hoping to just make enough to cover what I’ve put into it…which is slowly happening (through other venues, not the new business, ironically)…when I should be aiming for so much more! The insecurity is hard to shake! Good luck on your quest! I completely understand! Maybe I’ll journal too…

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